


Pinks and Doofuses

by rumpndump



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Doofus-verse, Eva Roze AU, F/M, J19Z7 Diane, J19Z7 Rick, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rumpndump/pseuds/rumpndump
Summary: Pink bubblegum and white crop tops, mini skirts and high heels; a bellybutton ring of a green gem and matching necklace he gave to her on Valentine’s Day–these were all the things that added up to the greatest woman he’s ever known; all things that created the only woman he’s ever loved… and her name was Diane.A story of how Doofus!Rick fell in love and lost his Diane.





	Pinks and Doofuses

**Author's Note:**

> The original was posted on Tumblr, written by me--I've simply posted it here for easier access to both update and reference. I do plan to continue this, but working two jobs hinders my update abilities! Just be patient per chapter, please c:
> 
> The characters are based off of Eva Roze's Doofus-AU, and I highly recommend you check out Eva's art on Tumblr! She made a fantastic rendition of this AU, and all credit of the character designs go to her!! <3

Pink bubblegum and white crop tops, mini skirts and high heels; a bellybutton ring of a green gem and matching necklace he gave to her on Valentine's Day--these were the things that added up to the greatest woman he's ever known; all things that created the only woman he's ever loved... and her name was Diane. 

She walked with an attitude that commanded attention, every click of her high heels echoing in the halls and turning heads at the sound of her bubblegum  _pop_.   
Rick had unknowingly turned in her direction, before sinking back into his locker as she made her way around the corner--hips swaying in her catwalk down the hall. Though he knew he would never have a chance with someone like her, he couldn't help his heart flutter every time she passed by. His soul swelled with hope, knowing she wore the necklace  _he_ got for her; albeit, she had never known it was him. If she did, she likely wouldn't heart it; probably discard of it immediately and claim him to be stalking her... just like everyone else treated him.   
There was just no way she would  _willingly_ accept anything from him directly, and so he gave her things anonymously--things she liked or had mentioned interest in before. 

From stickers to pencils, to earrings and small stuffed-plushies, Rick had given her everything she wanted, all while keeping his distance from her.   
He had to, having accepted the consequences if it ever came to light what he was doing; yet... today, something was  _different_. 

The closer Diane approached, the more it seemed she was approaching _him_. Her cat-like eyes were locked onto Rick, who was far too lost in the white-halo that encompassed her body to realize it- or… that was until she was right at his locker.

“You,” she said, “ _doofus_.”   
A hand slammed into the locker doors next to his head, forcing him to straighten up and snap out of whatever daze he was in before.

“I-I-” he tripped over his tongue, textbooks clinging closer to his chest as if worried she would hit him. Diane held a clear sneer across her fair, freckled complexion, and her gorgeous blue eyes glared up at him as he tried to figure out his words. “U-Uh… hey, Diane.”

“Hey?” she quirked a brow in question, “is that all you have to say to me?”   
A hand on her hip, the other supporting her leaning against the locker, her hip was popped out to one side, exposing the ride of her skirt upward and revealing more of her smooth thigh-–no underwear in sight.   
Rick tried not to stare, even averting his eyes to the banners along the wall above them, or even to the clock that read fifteen before class began. He swallowed a bit audibly, buck teeth biting into his lip as he felt his heart begin to race in his chest-–thumping so harshly, he thought it would shove his books right out from his arms.   
Before he realized it, Diane had leaned in-–ducking down to catch his gaze, which was upon the floor at her feet. “ _Doofus,_ ” she said more demanding. Rick’s eyes looked to her’s, then away as if looking for anyone else she might be talking to, before they fell upon her again. With his attention clearly on her, he hesitated to speak, leading her to grin slyly, “what’s the matter, Dorkly? Cat got your tongue?”

“N-No, I just…” he hesitated, “uh- what- Do you need something Diane?”

Diane gave a scoff, shaking her head which led to Rick shrinking away somewhat from his locker. The moment he stepped back, a bump of her hips shut his locker door harshly, and her softly painted fingernails reached up to snag his tacky blue shirt. He yelped from being yanked down suddenly, coming face-to-face with the young woman, eyes wide and cheeks flushed of color as he dropped his books around her feet.   
One specific chemistry book popped on its side, the pages spilling open slightly and allowing a small, neatly folded piece of paper to peek out–-the cutely written letters ’ _a-n-e_ ’ to be exposed. She didn’t seem to notice as she stared at Rick’s contorted face of concern and fear, who fumbled for his footing before holding himself up on the wall of lockers. His eyes were up and attentive to Diane’s, even as he was so tantalizingly close to her chest. 

“Geeze,” he breathed lightly, “i-i-is something wrong?”

“Yeah,” she muttered between the chew of her gum.   
Silence loomed overhead once again in his anticipation to hear what could possibly be provoking her. What was so wrong she had to come to _him_ of all people- and yet, she said nothing.

“Uhm,” he hesitated, leaving Diane to finally fill in the blanks.

“God,” she groaned, “I thought you were some genius, or something.”

“I-I mean,” he chuckled lightly, “I-I’m smart, but I wouldn’t consider myself a genius or anything-”

“Mr. Schroiden’s class is doing some written essay on the theory of relativity,” she explained suddenly. “I’m too busy with other things to be bothered writing something like that-–and frankly, I don’t want to waste my time.”

“So… don’t?” Rick grinned slightly, having spoken before he thought. Diane stopped momentarily, staring at him as if almost surprised by his joke. The hint of a smile touched her lip as she let him go and knelt down to scoop up the books she had made him drop. Rick followed her to the floor, “h-hey, it’s- no, it’s fine, I’ve got it-”

“Don’t be silly,” she said, beginning to stack the messy pile. “I can’t _not_  do this assignment, my grade is already shit-low. I need this to make a good grade, and pass the class for the year.”

“S…So,” he hummed lightly, cheeks visibly reddening as she stacked each book in his arms. Her eyes momentarily met the curt edges of the letter, fingers reaching out to pull it from the pages before Ricks snatched it up faster than she’s ever seen him move. He stowed it away in the black pocket of his leather vest, looking away as he said, “y-you need my help, right?”   
Those words stumbled out of him suddenly, and a bit loudly at her. His teeth sank into his lip again, internally cursing himself for borderline yelling at her. Instead of being angry, Diane simply smiled–-something he had seen her do flirtatiously to other boys at their school, _but never to him_.

“I knew you would understand, Doof,” she giggled, ruffling his hair.

“W… Well,” he couldn’t help but laugh, feeling her gentle fingers ruffle the edges of his usually straight hair. Rick didn’t like people touching him, he didn’t like people messing with his appearance, and in all actuality, he didn’t like her doing this. He laughed along with her, knowing that’s what others  _normally_  do in these types of interactions, but the moment she stopped, his hand immediately found itself smoothing out the ruffled ends, obsessively untwining each knot of his once straight style.  
“I-I can’t just- I can’t write the essay for you, but…” he frowned, “I-I can definitely help? Uh… I can help you write it.”

“Anyway,” she disregarded his statement, standing up right after slapping down the final book in his arms. Both hands rested on her hips as she watched him rise to the floor, eyes still focused on his own hair, “it needs to be done by lunch.”

“What-”

“Yeah,” she sighed softly. “I have him fifth-hour, and it’s due today… I’m sure you can manage something!”   
She smiled sweetly at him again, the pull of her candy red-colored lips sealing the deal on his decision to ‘help’ her. Rick gulped a bit, nodding at her in agreement, “I knew I could count on you, Boy Genius! I’ll find you during lunch, and who knows-” she had already begun walking away, peeking over her should and musing, “I might have just the thing to pay you back.”

With a quick wink, she rounded the corner and left him there, dumbfounded and flustered.   
Rick’s heart couldn’t stop racing, his fingers shaky and arms weakly holding himself together as he tried to recollect what had just happened. She… wanted him to write the essay for her, not actually wanting help. Somewhere in his mind, he knew she was only using him.  
The thought caused his spirit to sink, knowing she wouldn’t need him past when science and math were no longer viable excuses to be around. But… if this was an opportunity to make her happy- to be near her without that gleam of disgust, then… maybe he can manage.

Just this one time, he can let himself hope.


End file.
